A Longing for Suffering

Tiana Hennings
3 min readOct 14, 2020

I some times wonder if we are living our lives in a space were we are longing for suffering.

I mean, think about it, in my case I thrive under pressure and so I am a master procrastinator. I set myself up for failure on the constant, most often rising to the occasion and conquering all but in the few instances where I don't I have set myself up for failure. And then what do I do? I complain to others about my failure, this creates drama not only in my life, but in the lives of others and makes our lives less boring.

In another unique perspective my guru says “If you find yourself in a place of suffering, you will find your way back to God. And if you lose God you will find yourself suffering again” – Manorama

So are we only creating scenarios of suffering because we crave the spiritual soul that we have been neglecting on the daily? The soul body that we have pushed aside because we feel like everything else is so important. And yet our soul is the only thing that will go with us when we pass. Not our friends, not our family, not our things or our body that we obsess over. Only our mind and our soul will travel the journey to the beyond of which we do and know. Is this Gods cunning way of helping us along the path so that we may see the things in our lives that truly matter. This thing within us that should be the only thing that truly matters. It's us, it's our essence, it's our connection to God and spirit and source, it is the true space of feeling and without it we are nothing. But instead of cherishing it, we neglect it, we push it aside, we don't talk about it in social settings as a way to keep others from feeling uncomfortable.

Are we truly living if not through suffering? Look at those at the end of their lives. They are weak and feeble, totally reliant on others as their body deteriorates, they have gained all the material possessions they could want in this life and all they are left to do is sit within there miserable structure alone, with there mind and soul.

In our youth we are constantly going, we find the yang part of ourselves ever constant, never slowing down. But as we age God makes us slow down, we find our yin, we sit for hours on end staring at nothing.

Is this downtime being utilized, in a place of wisdom were you sit and you meditate? My Guru says “Meditation is like dating yourself” – Manorama

The reason that people have mid-life crisis is because they've never slow down enough to get to know themselves. And then they feel lost in the world searching frantically to find some thing that was inside of them the whole time, if they were only willing to get to know it, them, their soul!

The point of all of this rant is to not be the fool who reaches the middle or the end of their life and still doesn't know themselves. Have no regrets, take time to sit down each day and to feel your structure, to find your breath and go deep within your soul so that you know the true you.